Getting out of my own way

A few days ago I started to see very clearly how I have been getting in my own way.

I realized that I was beating up on myself for not already being where I know I am headed. I was beating myself up for not being the most perfect example of everything that I wish to embody.

I could give you a million examples, but here are 2 -- a tiny one and a BIG one.

Example #1 The "tiny" one-- I was beating myself up for eating two bananas in one day. Bananas are very sugary fruits and I am a "healthy" person.

So went the story from my internal judge.

That's the level of insanity I had stooped to.

Puh-LEASE!

As I shifted my awareness it became increasingly clear that I was chastising myself for just about everything in my life.

Every. Thing.

Example #2 The B-I-G one -- A wet blanket of heavy energy was descending on me -- and that was just "not okay" for the "telling a new story" queen. I had failed. I was a fraud. I was wanting too much out of life.

So, I tried all the techniques I knew to shift it. I tried really hard.

Really, really hard.

And I felt bad for feeling bad.

And so the cloud thickened. I couldn't find a way out no matter how many "techniques" I used to shift it.

Oh, I had little glimpses of feeling okay, even great, and I would think things were shifting (I was really attached to things shifting because feeling bad was not okay, in my judge's opinion), but the cloud would descend again as my judge reared its head.

"Two bananas in one day! Can't you use something else in that smoothie you are making on the 7th day of your juice and smoothie fast?" sneered the voice in my head.

See how it teases me?

Well, last night as I was going to sleep I had a major shift.

I decided to just see what it would feel like to say "this is how I feel now and it's okay."

BWAH-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

Instantly the feeling shifted and I was laughing so hard I had tears running down my face.

My partner Michael came into the room wondering why I was cracking up -- and I could hardly even tell him because I was laughing so hard.

My tummy hurt from all the laughing.

It was really funny!

A combination of laughing at the "joke" of how much I judged myself and laughing because I was experiencing the core of who I am -- who you are -- joy and love.

Once I made peace with where I was the energy of those dark emotions transformed immediately to overwhelming joy and love.

It was magical.

Once I stopped trying and just let myself BE everything was different.

I was so intent on feeling good that I managed to make myself feel bad.

Now, I am not saying you should just throw in the towel and live with circumstances are other than your highest calling. Don't sell yourself short!

But you can find a way to be at peace where you are in this moment -- as you open to what is unfolding for you.

Try giving yourself a break today. Love yourself where you are.

And let me know how it goes!

In-joy!
Sheri

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